There are many reasons why someone may want to be controlled. One is that, in their everyday life, they may have a very demanding job, where they are in control of everything about the business they are in. Some men (and women) in high powered jobs want to let go, let their pains and ultimately pleasures be controlled by another. It is a way of relieving stress for some. The dominee wants to make the dominatrix happy. He wants what she wants. He wants to be her slave. A lot of it is about making the dominee wait. Bondage causes some individuals to be aroused. The risk and danger of being out of control turns one on. They may want someone else to now take control and tell them what to do. The domination thing is a ritual for being out of control.
Masochism is where one experiences pleasure, esp. sexual gratification, from one’s own pain, suffering or humiliation. Sadism, its opposite, is where one derives pleasure, esp. sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others. Most dominatrises are not sadists! They are play acting to enhance the pleasure of the masochist.
Pain nerves are dulled during arousal and so pain through bondage or whipping may not be so painful as would be to a person not aroused (one thinks). BDSM has extremes and ranges from fluffy pink handcuffs to a dark dungeon with a set of torture implements. with the pain/pleasure thing, different people feel sensations at different levels, like how they smell food. The pain receptors and tolerance levels can be different for different people.
But not everybody is like this and some would be repulsed by being dominated or humiliated. BDSM can be difficult for some to understand and can be even disturbing to watch. One may agree that being a sadist is sick but being a masochist is not, as being a masochist is not hurting anybody but one’s self. But being a sadist is hurting others, with or without their consent to this play. But in the throes of BDSM, it is consensual. There is a lot of stuff out there on the Internet, some very mild, niche and hardcore. It is up to the individuals involved in this community to play it safe.
Hiring a professional dominatrix is a good way of experiencing BDSM, rather than springing it on your other half who may not have a clue what to do or be as agreeable. The professional will ensure you both enjoy the experience within limits. Whatever extreme experience desired it will be done in a controlled consensual environment with “safe words”. Many escorts are professional dominatrises and provide this services, from mild to more dungeon like scenarios. This can include role play, foot fetishes and tie and tease.
There are extremes, as with everything, but a little bit of this fantasy, in acceptable doses and in a controlled environment, is not harmful and can spice up the bedroom.
Useful sites
http://www.londonmistressschool.com/
http://www.londondungeonhire.co.uk/
The Dominatrix/Slave Fantasy
